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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

I hate that you deleted your blog

I liked prying into your life as much as you do mine. The purpose of my blog is to let you know little snippets about me with the ultimate goal of landing a job. To support myself, something we all strive to do. I've managed to do a internship for 6 months with refugees in Oakland; a huge personal challenge. If you must know, I'm unfilled. I'm in love but unsatisfied with my life. I thank the Lord I did not procreate because we are in a constant uphill fight against the world. My birthday is next month, I'll be 24! I don't plan to celebrate it, I never intend to celebrate my birthdays but my mom will take me to dinner. Grad school is coming along, but work is more important. I met a friend at school who is the more extroverted version of myself. I see things in her I used to do and no longer desire to do but she is comfortable with me. but she is female so there is competition, inevitable. I feel defeated sometime at school, sometime see no purpose in it, I guess that's why I am always playing catch up. My religion has become yes. Are you a Christian? Yes. but do I go to church, read the bible, talk to God? no. Ive contemplated jumping off the golden gate bridge, more than once. not crazy just tired. Tired of the rat race, secrets, stress, not understanding the purpose of life...But I'm still here. Im going to Boston in November, 2-5th, Im going with the plans of learning more about my career field but fear I will just be disappointed.$$$ trip. I miss your blog, I dont see you anymore and things are strange. you probably dont even think to look at my blog but I just want to let you know that I miss you. You were the only girl I wanted to get to know more about. im sure I will see you again, you will what has changed about me. I guess I will call a maid to clean this mess. I'll see you soon.

J.N.

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